Courage & darn-near disbelief

One of my friends posted a status on Facebook that quoted a line from the movie We Bought A Zoo..."All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, and I promise you something great will come of it."  I felt like a had a moment of insanity this past week which originally didn't feel like courage, just pure insanity.  However, something awesome came from it so whether it's insanity or courage, I'll take what I can get.


Last week I randomly discovered something called the Utah Symphony Chorus.  I never knew such a wonderful thing  even existed!  Apparently they sing a handful of times throughout the year with the Utah Symphony at...that's right, ABRAVANEL HALL!!!!!  Sorry, I had to shout that cause it's so exciting.  I thought it would be wonderfully fulfilling and exciting and pure awesome to be part of something like that and, as luck would have it, they were holding auditions this week.  So I signed up.  I told a few people I felt like Monica from 'Friends' when she had her identity stolen and ended up confronting her fears and taking a tap dance class when she had NO idea what she was doing...and as she waved her arms around erratically, being told she was "doing it wrong" she replied enthusiastically, "at least I'm doing it!!!"  I imagined myself a little like that.


So I got some tips from my awesome voice coach neighbor about auditioning and yesterday loaded the kids up in the car so I could drop them at Michael's work while I went to sing my heart out.  If I felt out of my league before it only increased a hundred-fold while I was waiting my turn and listened to other singers warming up.  These were majorly trained voices, people who could sing opera and sing it really well.  It made me feel about 12 years old.  But I decided to laugh it off and chalk it up to good experience and went in my audition with a big smile.  I told the auditioner that I felt out of my league but that I would LOVE to be in this chorus and what a wonderful opportunity it would be, then I did my thing and left feeling like I probably wouldn't make it because of the stiff competition but that I had done really well.  Yay for me.


You could have knocked me over with a feather when I got an email from them tonight saying "Congratulations, your audition was successful..." HUh?  Were you talking to me?  Seriously?!??  So apparently I get to sing with the Utah symphony.  In Abravanel Hall, a place I have revered since I was a very small person in awe of the gold and chandeliers and sounds of that amazing place.  And all because I had a few moments of courage.  What if I hadn't auditioned?  I never would have known.  Go seize the day!  I hope something great will come out of it for you.  

Mothers with heavy hearts

I am going to go out on a limb here and assume something for all parents.  It's a big assumption but I bet I'm pretty close.  I'm going to assume that, regardless of individual fears as we grow up (being afraid of the dark or afraid of bears or afraid of rejection), once someone becomes a parent there is ONE single, simple fear that shoots to the top of the list--losing a child.  I can't imagine a more terrifying thought to myself and for some reason that thought occurred to me tonight at the end of a wonderful, happy, satisfying Mothers Day.  I wanted to send out a tribute to all mothers (fathers too, actually) who have lost a child and who are most likely reminded of that event on this particular day.  I can't even begin to imagine how difficult something like that must be, how heart-breaking it must feel at times, I can only offer my heart in sympathy and my hope that you can see them again someday.  So, on what for some will be a bittersweet day, I wish a happy mother's day to those who've loved and lost.  Our thoughts are with you.

Spring Clean

A few weeks ago I undertook the task to unclog our bathroom tub drain in lieu of calling a plumber.  I didn't have any snaking tools do dig out nasty hair/grease balls so I took to the internet.  I found some great instructions for using baking soda and vinegar combinations and after 4 flushes of this wonderful stuff my bathtub drain was running free and clear.  I felt like Superwoman!!!  At my friend's house the next day I told her about my success and while we talked she ran 2 rounds of the miracle unclogger and it worked like magic.  She said they'd spent a bunch of money buying bottle after bottle of drain cleaner that never worked and we had it running free in just 15 minutes using stuff they already had in the cupboard.  (By the way, if you want to know how we did it there are instructions here: Homemade 'drain-o'...the only thing we did differently was to heat the vinegar in the microwave for about 45 seconds first.)

Something I read while figuring out how to clear that clog said that baking soda emulsifies grease and that's how it breaks down the clogs as it sits on them, eating it away.  I thought about that for a week or so, wondering what that would do on just the regular hair on my head.  With great faith in the power of baking soda after my triumphs I took to the internet again and found a surprising trend: a great number of people who clean their hair with baking soda instead of shampoo.  (They call it "no-poo" which I think is pretty gross so I'm going to think of something else for this post.)  I figured it had worked so well on my tub I would at least give it the benefit of the doubt and give it a test-run.  After a few days of this regimen my hair is still soft, not greasy and I haven't used a drop of shampoo.  I had a couple of people ask about how it works, what are the proportions, etc. so I'm writing this up for anyone who is interested.

I found this blog post very informative about the differences of hair care between shampoo and baking soda but here is the simple breakdown.

1-2 Tbsp. baking soda
Squeezy bottle for the shower, at least 8 oz.
Another bottle, at least 8 oz.
1 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar



Using a funnel dump 1-2 Tablespoons of baking soda in an 8 ounce bottle and fill the rest up with water.  The baking soda settles quickly so you will need to keep shaking it as you're applying.  Also take with you a cup or bottle with a solution of 1 Tbsp. of apple cider vinegar to 1 cup water.

After wetting your head in the shower start squeezing the soda solution on your scalp.  I start at the crown and work my way around the rest of the hair, focusing mostly on the scalp.  The scalp is where all the oil is produced so the  rest of the hair needs a little less.  It feels really weird because it's not sudsing up with bubbles and you realize you're just rubbing water around in your hair.  But keep scrubbing away, it's working!  Most of the sites I read said to just rinse it right off but I figure if it's working on the grease I'd like to let it do more work, so I leave it on while I do the rest of my cleaning up.  After everything else is done you can do 2 things: either rinse first with water and then rinse with the vinegar solution or slowly dump the vinegar solution all around your hair first (if you have longer hair you may need more, but mine is really short so I use a cup...just remember the proportions of 1 Tbsp. to 1 c.)  It's not a strong mix of baking soda and vinegar but I can still feel it bubbling on my scalp and I love it.

Finally, rinse well with water and you're done!

A couple of notes:  If you're worried about the vinegar smell, it still smells really strong when you dump it on your head but after you've rinsed it off you cannot smell a thing!  I even had Michael do a smell test and he couldn't detect any trace of it.  Also a lot of the sites I read about this hair-washing regimen suggested that it can take up to 2 weeks before the oil production in your hair will even out and get used to it, so you may have a while dealing with gross greasy hair.  If you really want to do it, don't give up!  Give it at least 2 weeks before you go back.  My hair is really short and I also think leaving it in longer helps, so I haven't had a single greasy day, but your experience may be different.  I'd love to know if anyone else has tried this, or if this post inspires you to try.  Please link back to your own blog and share your experiences!

Master of my Fate, Captain of my...Day

I am stealing this post from the book "Suzie Bitner was afraid of the Drain" by Barbara Vance.  Her poems are delightful and actually reminiscent of Shel Silverstein's work (who doesn't love Shel Silverstein???) but this one seemed corresponding to my mood and my feelings about life at the moment, especially after a great day of listening to General Conference and being inspired by the words of prophets.  I feel like I could do anything!  Unfortunately I have to go to sleep now and will probably be my usual, grumpy self in the morning.  So I thought I'd post Barbara Vance's poem and look at it tomorrow to remind me the kind of person I'd like to be.

A Good Day

“Today will be a good day,
And I will make it so–
I cannot make the sun come out;
I cannot make the flowers sprout;
I cannot make the fishes bite,
Nor blow the wind beneath my kite.
But I can wear a friendly smile
And listen to the trees a while
And laugh real loud and run real fast
And make each moment such a blast.
I can sing though skies be gray,
‘Cause I am captain of my day.”

Getting facts straight, aka Me On a Soapbox

If you live in Utah you have probably been reading a lot about the debate about Sexual Education for minors in public school.  Do we teach them about condoms?  Abstinence?  Genital warts?  None of the above?  What?  I am not posting what I think about the Sex-Ed debate.  I am taking issue with a comment that is made over and over as part of the argument.  A "statistic" that I have heard for YEARS surrounding this and other issues dealing with sexual morality among teenagers.  A comment/statistic that has never made sense to me.  Here's the general gist of the statement:  Utah has one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancy in the country.

That's it.  That comment is touted constantly by people on both sides of the issue, but particularly when someone wants to point out that teaching abstinence (which is apparently all we do in Utah) doesn't work, or that Mormons are a bunch of hypocritical losers, or a variety of other things.  I was thinking about it tonight because one of my seriously awesome friends posted that statement on her blog as she was sharing her thoughts about this hot-button issue.  I don't take issue with her opinions or those of most other people, in fact I appreciate that we can flesh out an issue and let everyone's opinions be heard, but this comment gets under my skin, like seeing spelling or grammar mistakes on retail products or on a company website.  (It's the English major in me, I guess, I can't help it.  But seriously, could you pay somebody to proofread your stuff??  Could you pay ME?  I'd be more than happy to do it!  Sheesh.)

Back to the point.  This statement that is thrown around about Utah having the highest teen pregnancy rate in the country was getting under my skin.  So I did a Google search.  It took me all of 5 seconds.  It took me longer than that to read some of my findings but they were quite illuminating.  The first one was from the Guttmacher Institute, which I confess I'd never heard of, but their website banner declares that they are "Advancing sexual and reproductive health worldwide through research, policy analysis and public education."  Well, since they are all about educating the public, that's what I'd like to do (if, in this instance, "public" means all 10 of you who read my blog).  The link to their study is here: http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/USTPtrends.pdf

There was a lot of interesting information but the most pertinent I found was that in 2005 Utah ranked #45 in the nation in rate of pregnancy for teens aged 15-19.  (page 13)  There are other pages that show rates for teens younger than 15 is low in the country as well.  That means there are 44 other states with higher teen pregnancy rates than Utah.  That doesn't sound like a state with one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country to me.

Here was another one by a group you may have heard of:  the CDC.  This one deals mostly with different teen pregnancy rates among different races but the information I wanted was on the first page: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db46.pdf

The map on the first page shows "Teenage birth rates for 15-19 year olds by State, 2008" and if I'm not color blind I believe it shows that Utah ranks "Significantly lower than the US rate."  That doesn't sound like a state with one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country to me, either.

I think it is one of the great blessings of living in the United States that we can have public discourse about issues that people think are important, that we can work to change policy, and that we have the means and technology to do so.  What I think needs to change is correcting false rhetoric that is used by one side or the other simply to support their ideology.  Public discourse needs to be honest, open-minded and correctly informed, otherwise we're just kids on a playground shouting "yes, it is! no, it isn't! yes, it is! no, it isn't!" back and forth at each other without ever actually accomplishing anything.  So next time you hear or read something making a gross generalization in order to support a claim, please ask for the person's reference.

ew.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that probably every parent's favorite part of having a baby in diapers is that moment where you stick your finger 1 or 2 inches down the back of the diaper to pull it out from the baby's body to see if there's a mess in there and you realize too late that there IS a mess...and that it goes up about 1/2 inch away from the top.

kudos

This morning's post is dedicated to All-American Rejects.  I had just decided I didn't have any more to give to my morning run when this song came on my ipod.  I couldn't help it-- I dead sprinted an extra 4 laps on the track until it finished.  Thanks, guys.

Etsy Fever

Just wanted to...ahem...point out the new widget on the sidebar over there ------------>

I'm selling bracelets on Etsy!  They're a little kitschy and a little cute and a little adolescent (the teenagers in my neighborhood love them) and also a little fun.  You're certainly welcome to buy one, even if you're 50.  It'll make the cool kids *jealous.  

(*Disclaimer: I have never been cool so any claim to know what will make cool kids jealous is totally fabricated and clearly says I have no idea what I'm talking about.)

Thanks for looking!

Bring it on 2012

I feel bad when I don't blog.  The neglect of the blog sits like a brooding animal at the back of my mind, nibbling at my conscience until I convince myself it's been too long since I last blogged and I may as well just shut it down all together.  So I get on Blogger, sift through the links, peruse past posts, chuckle over the comments of my friends (some of you are hilarious, by the way) and then fall in love all over again with blogging.

I guess I did that tonight.

I also take pictures, dozens and dozens of pictures each month.  They are carefully stored on my computer and there they sit.  Doing nothing.

Does anyone out there scrapbook?  I can't bring myself to do all the froofy cri-cut stuff where you have all these paper accoutrements in awesome layers angled around each other on the page...with one picture.  But I can handle it if it's just cutting and pasting and writing cute stuff and adding some fun paper with stickers or something.  And yes, I'm 12.

But I have NO scrapbooks of my children, just boxes and folders and computer files full of mementos.  Will someone please come and organize me so I can make scrapbooks for my children?  (Yes, mom, I agree, we need to get my craft room in order so I have a place to work.  Will you come over one night after the kids are in bed and do it with me?  Will my neighbors too?  That'd be great. Thanks.)

What other random thing can I bore readers with....food?  My kids love barbecue sauce.  Which is why, every day that I teach piano lessons and I finish right at dinner with no time to prepare anything we eat quesadillas with some kind of meat and barbecue sauce.  Doesn't matter what else is in it, they'll eat it if there's barbecue sauce.  Come to think of it, I'm kind of like that with chocolate sauce.  Or Nutella.  I've eaten that on tortillas before.  I guess it's true about apples and trees and all that.

(Speaking of which...about piano lessons, not about barbecue or chocolate sauces or Nutella or even apples...if anyone's interested I'm teaching piano again...)

See, this is why I don't blog more.  I could bore anyone to tears without even trying.  

I'm trying to declutter.  I got this burst of energy the last 10 days or so that translated in my brain as "you have too much stuff and your house is messy and unorganized and cluttered and wouldn't you like to live in a place that looked like it belonged in a magazine with only a few tastefully selected items on each surface and all color coordinating and bringing life and energy into your living space?"  My head voices are long-winded like that.  Of course, I can declutter all I want.  I will never be able to make a house look like it belongs in a magazine.  I need to bring in some talent for that.  One thing at a time...first I have to convince my husband that it's OK to throw things away.  The stories I could tell of the things he keeps ("we could totally use that!") and after months of sitting on a desk, the floor, a bookshelf, it hasn't been touched and I just throw it away.  See?  He never even misses it.  (Except that he does occasionally check on this blog and might actually KNOW that I do that stuff now.  I love you sweetie!  Let's go watch 'Hoarders' k?)  Just trying to do my part for our family.  Keeping my sanity, that's what's good for our family.  (On a related note, I found a website that is currently my inspiration: Discardia.  If any of this un-cluttering nonsense appeals to you, check it out.  It made me happy.)

There is quite a list of things that I'd like to work on, improve, change as this year begins.  I never actually made a list of resolutions or anything like that, it's more like just a feeling of things changing or getting ready to change, of wanting to be different somehow.  Better different.  That obnoxious, talkative burst of energy that pushes me to become more how I envision myself and less how I apathetically settle into life.  Does that make sense?

However, it is 9:00 and I'm feeling more settle-ish than energy-ish so I'm settling in for the night to watch (again) "Once Upon a Time" from this week. *excited giggle*

What about you?  How do you make changes to yourself or your life, especially on those long days where all you want to do is put in a movie and fade into oblivion???

Lessons Learned

Just thinking tonight about some of the things that I've learned that last few years that I never would have learned without my children in my life.

1- You can't imagine how something so tiny and adorable one moment could be so irritating the next.
2- Impromptu dance parties are the spice of life.
3- Adjustable waists in pants are brilliant...but they never get completely dry in the dryer.
4- Never would I think it permissible to wipe another person's nose with my hand.  But it totally is.
5- The amount of sleep I get is directly (and negatively) proportional to how early everyone wakes up the next morning.
6- You think that there's nothing worse than a sad, sick child that you want to heal immediately but can't...until they all get it and then it is definitely worse.
7- It is possible to want to desperately protect someone with your own life and still want to strangle them in the same moment.
8- The amount of time it takes my children to break something personal to me is directly related to how sentimental I feel about it.
9- I never realized how much my own parents loved me until I held my first child in my arms.
10- I don't know how I ever lived without having a little head nestled on my shoulder.  I also don't know how I'll live when that time is done.  I can't even think about it.
11- My kids can make even the most simple, mundane task absolutely exhausting.
12- It is in all likelihood possible to go literally crazy from saying the same things over & over & over & over...
13- It's easy to know what my kids size will be in the next year so buying a size up for them on the clearance rack has been the biggest money-saver ever.  (Already have Miss Em's Christmas clothes for next year).
14- When people say how important it is for women planning on being stay-at-home moms to get the best education possible because it will help them teach their children... they are exactly right.
15- I am not as patient as I thought I was.
16- I don't have to give up my life for my kids.  I can still have one of my own, too, with my own goals and plans.  It's just bigger than I planned it to be.
17- It took me a while to figure out why scriptures teach us to "become as a little child" because, honestly, sometimes they are hellions.  ('Submissive'??  He obviously never met MY kids!!)  But they are THE MOST FORGIVING little things on the planet.  I'm trying to be more like them.
18- I forget how amazing and exciting everything seemed when I was a kid.  The world seems brighter when I see that through their eyes and I remember.  (Sprinkles! Puppies! Trampolines! Snow!! The list could go on & on.)
19- Phases pass.
20- I never imagined that watching my kids all help each other unload the dishwasher would bring me such exquisite joy.

Twenty seems like a good place to end.  Plus, it's late and I still want to read for a while.  It was nice to sit here and think about the good things I've learned as a mother.  It's a crazy, upside-down, unrelenting, rewarding, exhausting job but it's the best one I've ever had.

Alert the media!

I want it known that I made doughnuts today!!!  (If you're curious I used THIS RECIPE but I swapped the strawberries for cranberries.)  I have never, in my 32 years successfully fried anything.  Ever.  In fact, I've only unsuccessfully tried 2 or 3 times.  But now I've made doughnuts.  And they're not too shabby.  I even fried some plan dough, sprinkled it with sugar and spread it with some vanilla honey butter (from some cinnamon roll thing I tried earlier in the week) and it was divine.  My whole life will now be divided in 2 sections: B.D. and A.D. (before doughnuts and after doughnuts).
I'm going to celebrate with some fried dough.

Letter to Stephanie Meyer

(So I published this note on Facebook but usually when I have an opinion I want to make it heard as much as possible (as my sweet, patient husband can probably attest) so I'm copying it here as well.  If you're tired of hearing anything about the Twilight series, if you don't like reading the personal rantings of people you don't know, or if are a Latter-day Saint and you loved the latest Twilight movie, then I apologize in advance.  This is kind of long so in the off chance that you actually do make it through the whole post, I'd appreciate a comment about your feelings.  It caused a bit of a stir on my friend's Facebook page when she linked to it and it led to some rousing discussion, so please feel free to share!)

‘With great power come great responsibility…’ how many times have we heard that in as many contexts?  Truisms tend to do that, get repeated in various settings.  And here’s the thing: they’re always true.   And this case is no different.  Stephanie Meyer has been “given” great power in terms of worldly influence because of her pseudo-celebrity status.  People (women, mostly) sit up and take notice to what she says, what she writes and what she represents.  The problem is that she has come to represent the LDS church because she is a member of that church.  So for the millions of women world-wide (who know the name Stephanie Meyer, acknowledging that there is a large portion of them who don’t) who are also members of that church we take very personally what she produces.  I am one of these women.  Her writing, her movies, anything with her name tied to it will be a representation to the world of what I believe, of what millions of women world-wide believe.  We want to be women of God.  We want to stand for honesty, integrity, morality, family togetherness, and love.

                So it was with great chagrin that I have watched her legacy play out in the media.  Her books were generally either loved or hated.  People have different tastes so there is allowance for that.  In fact, although I haven’t always appreciated everything about her books I could always say one thing: they stayed true to what we believe.  The characters represented virtues similar to my own and I never found anything incongruous with the LDS beliefs.  Until the movies started.  ‘Twilight’ the book was a delightful, quick read full of (albeit admittedly strange) romance that—and here’s the kicker—was CLEAN.  Morally clean, I mean.  I loved Edward’s “old fashioned” ideas of abstinence.  There was nothing gratuitous or graphic.  So I admit to being disheartened when watching Kristin Stewart in the movie making out with Robert Pattinson on her bed in her underwear.  Really?  Come on, that’s not what we stand for.  I grimaced for Young Women of our faith (and others) all over the world.

                Disregarding all that happened in the intervening years I’ll skip to the latest movie, ‘Breaking Dawn.’  While reading Stephanie’s books I admit to being continually pleased at the cleanliness of the writing, the themes, I felt there was even an almost subconscious influence to teach young girls to be morally clean, to save their bodies, not get involved in sexual activity.  And in the book ‘Breaking Dawn’ the main characters are married before they have sex.  Totally in line with my beliefs.  However, the thing I loved most about those scenes – that they were clean – was totally wiped out with the production of the movie.  In the book I loved that Stephanie glossed over the intimate moments between husband and wife, leaving room for the individual imagination to take over, and only returning to the marital bed the next morning.  Nothing gratuitous, nothing graphic.  Perfect.  And how dismayed and disappointed I was to see that Stephanie Meyer, as PRODUCER, no less, allowed that basic virtue, moral cleanliness, to be taken over by Hollywood and reduced to a graphic, gratuitous, uncomfortable sex scene.  Why was it so uncomfortable?  Because I’m a Mormon, just like Stephanie Meyer, and she has basically just declared that I think that was ok – desirable, in fact.  But she is wrong.  I don’t think sex scenes in movies are ok.  I think the public sphere is not the place for panting and moaning and naked bodies.  I would be mortified if I had a teenage girl who wanted to see that movie.  I am almost more horrified that a fellow Mormon would have the audacity to produce that scene in a movie.  Even as I write this I am filled with anger.  Disappointment.  Humiliation.  Resentment.  (Strange words for a Christian to use, perhaps I should calm down for a minute…)

                Sadness.  That is what I am left with.  Great sadness that in seeing (many, many, many) dollar signs, Sister Meyer has sold out.  She sold herself out for millions of dollars, and in doing so sold out the rest of us as well.  Congratulations, you just found the price of your integrity.

                So I want to make it perfectly clear, I do not condone what was in that movie.  Any woman who professes moral cleanliness would not be happy with that movie.  (Yeah, you know that uncomfortable feeling you got watching that scene?  You know what voice that was and shame on us for ignoring it.)  Now I am far from perfect, there are probably a handful of people that could rightfully cast stones at me and the difficult thing for Stephanie Meyer is that there are millions more that know her name and could cast stones if they wanted.  But I will still not sit idly by and have someone in the spotlight, someone who has let LDS women down, dictate to the rest of the world what I believe.  In all probability I will never have that kind of spotlight but it doesn’t mean I can’t have a voice.

A Little Revealing

1. I have not been able to concentrate on one thing for more than 20 minutes since 7:30 tonight.
2. Can you develop ADD overnight?
3. It's more likely that I know I should be doing something else and I'm avoiding it.
4. It's really helping me to number my sentences right now.
5. Can you develop OCD overnight?
6. (No comments allowed from my husband about me already having OCD.  I don't. *whispered*I don't.)
7. I think Facebook and Twitter have made me dumber: I can only think in sentences of about 140 characters.
8. Except when I read Jane Austen, then I feel smart and my sentences are longer and peppered with Victorian language.
9. I love Jane Austen.
10. I know it's not Jane Austen but I'm re-reading 'Jane Eyre' and I still love it just as much as the first dozen times.
11. Michael just got home.
12. It's 10:53pm.
13. I had to stop writing so we could fill each other in on our days.
14. Although there wasn't much to say since we've already spent roughly a cumulative of 40 minutes or so on the phone together during the day.
15. He calls me whenever he's at Costco getting gas in his truck, just in case we need 400 rolls of toilet paper or a double pack of elephant-sized bags of chips or a 17 lb. bottle of vitamins.
16. I think this is possibly the most boring blog post I've ever written.
17. Don't comment on that.
18. (Michael, this means you, too.  Again.)
19. Now my husband is waxing philosophical on me and demanding more attention so I have to actually listen and answer questions so I will end this.
20. But since I'm OCD I can't end on 19.

Summer recap

This doesn't even come close to re-capping our summer, but I thought it would be nice to prove that we are all still alive.  Emily's hair is getting longer (actually I think this was taken a few months ago...it's past her shoulders now) and is regularly in either pigtails or, more recently, braids.  Yay for having a girl!



The kids have been CRAZY loving the pool at G&G Snow's house.  I think we were there about twice a week for the entire summer and still going strong.  The pool is getting a little cold for the wimpy mom over here but kids don't care about silly stuff like numb appendages when there is fun to be had!



This is a freaky photo of me with all of my "Joseph" makeup on.  I participated in the Herriman community theater doing a production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" which was crazy-busy, a TON of fun and a great way to make new friends in my community.  For anyone that doesn't know me it doesn't actually look like a lot of makeup...trust me, it is.  I'm usually good with a little blush.  The black eyeliner in this show took me about a week to take off.  But I didn't mind cause I had a blast.  I also have to send MAJOR, ASTRONOMICAL, UNBELIEVABLE props to my sweet husband who picked up all of the slack during the rehearsals.  For the last 3 weeks I was gone EVERY night and for half the day on Saturdays, while he took care of kid-duty, bedtime duty, sometimes meal duty.  He did all the major outside work as well, but our front garden looks like rubbish piled on top of weeds because that was my job and I was never around to do it.  Oh well, there's always next year.



We had our first garden!  We grew an insane amount of tomatoes (all of which were mushy...can someone tell me what we did wrong?) and cucumbers, different peppers, onions, garlic...and the best part was how much the kids loved to help weed, water, and generally care for the garden.  They also loved to harvest, which is what is pictured below.  David is carrying an onion inside for me.



Michael and I did our first triathlon in years.  It was a little pathetic but at least we finished!  This is a 'before' picture at some ridiculous time like 5:30am.  Just 2 hours later I was nearly drowning in icy water that felt about 2 degrees.  Yikes, just thinking about it makes me panicky.  Good experience but I'm not sure I'll be doing an outdoor swim again anytime soon.



Emily took this picture, I just thought it was cute.  Also, it shows the families' favorite hangout...mom & dad's bathroom.  Why is that?



Also cute.  Love my boys.


I have a ton more photos but they're all still on my camera and it will take me an hour to download and blah, blah, blah... I'm lazy and want to go eat ice cream with Michael.  I love weekends.

On a more somber note I was thinking of all the things I've done in the last 10 years since the Sept. 11 attacks.  Just 2 weeks after that happened I was boarding a plane for England to serve an 18 month mission for my church.  (It was strange because I got used to the British calling it "11th of Sept." cause they write their dates differently, with the date before the month, and I had to get used to it being called "Sept. 11th" when I got back.  Anyway I found while being away that most people were sympathetic, supportive and almost apologetic towards me as an American.  It was an interesting perspective to have after such a nationally traumatic event.)
After my mission I met an adorable guy who made my knees weak, we got married a year later.
We bought our first house.
We had our first baby.  A boy.  We became parents and changed forever.
We moved to Asia (for reasons we can never quite explain) and had a life-changing experience and met some life-changing people.  We also had a little girl who changed our family dynamics forever.  For the better.
We moved back to the US.
We had a baby boy.  He's the happiest little goober I know.
We changed jobs at least 4 times.
We lived in at least 6 different houses.
With tragedy striking 10 years ago and every day, everywhere, somewhere, since then it makes life seem that much more precious and I feel almost anxious to hang on to every second.  My favorite parts of my days are when I'm with my family.  Like today, playing Uno.  So silly and unimportant but also so memorable.

I can't even imagine what my life will be like in another ten years.

I can't wait.

Free

I have been a bit emotional this weekend. I have felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this country during the patriotic celebrations. The fireworks and festivals are fun opportunities for family togetherness, but the most central part has been my own contemplation about the founding of The United States of America and the precursors that paved the way for the beginnings of this great nation. I've thought a lot about Mormon (an ancient prophet that Latter-Day Saints believe lived over a thousand years ago on the American continent...if you're curious, you can learn more about him here) and how he and his son watched the destruction of their people but looked forward to the day when the land would once again become "a land of promise" and that their faithless, wicked brothers would be taught the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I've thought about Nephi (another ancient prophet from The Book of Mormon) who also saw in vision the destruction of his people and prophesied of gentiles (that's us!) being directed by the hand of God to travel here, to settle here, and to once again establish it as a great nation.

And if you read accounts of the early settlers or our great founding fathers, their faith is foremost in their minds, their recognition of the hand of God in their successes and in preparing a way for them to obtain their goal of a republic free from oppression. They absolutely understood that their cause was just and that God supported them in their efforts. They were great men of faith, vision and understanding and I have wanted to weep with gratitude the last few days for their choices that have provided a a place for me to raise my family in the way that I best see fit. It all comes down to these fellas...



...and this beautiful lady...


I thought of these people, my precious family, as I sang 'The Star-Spangled Banner' on Sunday in church and tears streamed down my face as I contemplated the words:

Oh, thus be it ever, when free men shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Pow'r that hath made and presesrved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust!"
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!"

How much they recognize the power of God in their struggle! How succinctly Francis Scott Key summarized their faith, their devotion, their TRUE patriotism in his stirring poem! I wept as I sang it again today at a morning devotional our church organized and I thought of the story behind the national anthem and how Francis Scott Key searched for visions of the flag in the night,

What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it cathes the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines on the stream;
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh, long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!"

Again, I thought of my family, my children, and my responsibility to teach them about the founding of this nation, about the hand of God in directing His great work and fulfilling His promise to make this "a promised land." It was stirring in a different way than I usually experience around the Fourth of July when I'm excited about fireworks and family barbecues and I feel simple pride in our great nation. This year has been more of a spiritual experience as I've realized that my patriotism is directly tied to my religious faith. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for God's power. We wouldn't have the freedoms we do (and we must fight for them still!) if it hadn't been for our righteous founding fathers and their passion for their great work. This country as we know it has been thousands of years in the making, preparations were made far before ships landed at Plymouth Rock. God prepared and cultivated this land Himself and I hope we can remember Him better in our celebrations.

However you celebrate may the spirit of this day be with you and your family!

Growing leaps and bounds

A friend of mine was talking about turning 30 and looking forward to all of the good things the next decade of her life would bring. So I wanted to take this moment to commemorate the tremendous growth I have experienced in the few short years at the beginning of my thirties:

1- I have learned to like avocados. Seriously, I had my first avocado as an almost-teenager in the kitchen of the neighbor of a friend and I almost vomited. So. mushy. I'm not sure what I expected, but that was NOT it. It's a fruit, but it's savory. Wrong, on so many levels. (For this same reason I absolutely despise durian. If you've never had it, thank your lucky stars. Maybe in 20 years I'll have the same revelation I've had about avocados. But I doubt it. I seriously doubt it.) Anyway, somehow I've decided that avocados are OK. I regularly buy them and make guacamole! No, I've never eaten guacamole before my 30s either. Tried it, still thought it was nasty. Look how much I've grown as a woman in her 30s!

2- Blueberries. I have always eaten blueberries, but never REALLY enjoyed them. Same deal with avocados...I thought they were mushy. I'm assuming most people have aversions to food because of the texture issue. I used to force myself to think about something else when first biting down on a mealy-blueberry. But now, as a maturing adult, I can eat blueberries and not try to divert myself from the fact that I'm eating a blueberry!

3- Tomatoes. I NEVER thought I'd get over this one. Tomatoes gave my the dry-heaves. Again...a texture thing. But after years of forcing myself to nibble on them here and there, getting used to that texture in my hamburger-layering, I can eat tomatoes. And not just on stuff, but I can stick an entire, plain, slice of tomato in my mouth and chew it up, not running for the nearest garbage can but actually enjoying it. Growth.

I just wanted to share these little gems of thought in case there is anyone out there anxious about moving into a new decade... because there are always new wonders to discover, like the fact that you, too, can overcome aversions to mushy foods! They can actually become palatable to you! Just imagine all of the doors that will open up to you! You're welcome.

Exercise & Music

Michael & I competed in a few runs & triathlons when we were dating and then newly married, but after our first child things sort of fizzled out and we both got completely out of shape. Thanks to a physical where Michael found out he had fairly high cholesterol for his age, the subject of getting into shape became something of interest in our home again. Thus, a few weeks ago we registered for the Herriman Black Ridge Triathlon to be held at the end of July. We've both eased ourselves slowly into training again, but after a comment made by our son last week things have been kicked into high gear. We were talking about the race and John piped up and said to his daddy, "I bet mommy will beat you."

Wooo-hoohooohoooho, did I get a kick out of that. Good to know where mom stands. Daddy also thought it was hilarious, but more in a challenge sort of way. I believe his exact words were:

"Oh, it is on. It is on."

So now we're fighting over whose turn it is to go to the gym at night ("you went last" "no, you went last" "no, you got to go twice last week") or at least that's how it sounds in my head. I'm itching to train every night, increase my running times, actually get ON a bike (probably important at some point, right?) and increase stamina while swimming. I've already dramatically improved my running time (although, it's hard to do anything else with a 16-minute mile) but still have miles to go. So my question is for anyone out there who has done any sort of training or even an exercise regimen...how in the world do you do this with 3 little kids? The only way we can swing it now is to take turns going at night after the kids are in bed, so we each get a turn every other night. Is there anything else that works for anyone else?

The kids are into it as well. I started them in a little tumbling class today that lasts for a few weeks and they had a blast learning to somersault and back-bend and cartwheel and balance. I was surprised how much they learned after one class, so we'll see how they're doing in another 2 weeks.

In other news, I'm thinking it's about time to start up piano lessons again. Sometimes it scares me to death because I'm not trained in pedagogy (teaching) and just knowing how to play and knowing how to teach are two different things. On the other hand I know I'm a capable teacher and I love watching kids progress through steps of learning and seeing them accomplish things. I am passionate about piano and I've had amazing teachers myself, so I hope that in some way the passionate part is contagious to my students and that I can channel some of the great things I learned as a student myself. I'm also remembering that I have to continually challenge myself on the piano and be an eternal student as well so I don't lose what I worked all of those years to gain. It has been a miracle having a piano in my home again after so long (thank you to Sean & Min for storing it the last few months and to mom & dad for taking care of it those couple of years while we went gallivanting around the world) but I hope I don't ever have to part with it again!

So anyone in this area let me know if you're interested in piano lessons this summer, for yourself or your kids...I'm thinking Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, probably morning, but I'm flexible. I will take all skill levels, but if you're seriously advanced (like trying to get a music scholarship) I will recommend a few teachers who are better equipped than myself. I also take all ages so don't be shy if you are middle-aged and always wanted to learn to play the piano...I promise by the end of summer you will!

(It's 10:00 and Michael is still working out. Dang! He's going to be ahead of me, I'll need to get a really good session in. Tomorrow is my turn!)

In Honor of Judgment Day

For those of you who don't know, the Rapture is going to be today. That's some helpful information to have right there.

So my first obvious musical choice in honor of the end of the world was REM's iconic anthem "It's The End of the World As We Know It" but my awesome hubby had a much more elegant idea:

Johnny Cash - When the Man Comes Around. Awesome.



(Other suggestion was Walking on Sunshine but that seemed a little arrogant.)
Anyone have any other musical suggestions as a soundtrack to the massive upheaval that will be going on today? I for one plan to grab some marshmallows to roast and a good cd mix to listen to while I dance with my kids.)

Enjoy the end of the world!

*update: and the song winner is... Wham's 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go'. Win.

motivation

Raise your hand if you find it hard to keep up a blogging burst of energy. I, myself, seem to have fizzled. Trying to figure out how to get it back. Stay tuned.

(ps- on an unrelated note, i had an awesome birthday this year! i never realized how wonderful my friends and family are! i also realized how AWFUL i am about other people's birthdays and what a difference it really makes to get a phone call/card/email/or even an obligatory facebook message. i am resolving to be better.)

over and out, for now...really stay tuned, though...

Birthday Fun

OK, so we had a couple of birthdays. Like, a long time ago.
But I'm going to put some pictures up because they're still cute! Even though they're 2 months old!
So basically right after Christmas, I have 3 birthdays within a few weeks of each other. Yikes. So lets look at birthdays!
This was Emily in her new birthday dress momma made for her. I've never done that before and I didn't have a pattern, just used a smaller dress she used to wear as my basic pattern. It turned out a MESS at first and my mom had to help me a ton (thanks mom!) but basically it ended all right.


Opening presents with cousins!


More presents!!


And more presents!!! She loves her princess dress.


Her cake BEFORE it was cooked. It was fun to cover it with frosting and surprise her when it was cut. John helped me decorate it while she was taking a nap. What a sweetheart.


OK, I cannot be held totally responsible for this. I think we found this in one of my old boxes (you have to understand, it wasn't too long after the 70s when i wore this and...and...ok, i just have nothing else to say) and she was DYING to try it on and twirl with it. She's also commandeered a similar one in pink. She wears it to church. Help me.


Daddy spending quality time playing "Zingo!" with the kids. It's Bingo with pictures and it's fun. Emily pulls it out about every other hour of the day. She kinda' likes it. (This was a Christmas present not a birthday present, but it was a cute one of the fam.)


Moving on to the next birthday...

Little Dew's favorite present...another homemade one from me. Seriously, it is hilarious and awesome how much he loves his Domo (it's Japanese). From the moment he saw it, he growled fiercely and proudly at it and then he laughed hysterically. And he's been doing that ever since.


Opening presents...the anticipation...


I tried to get a ton of pics with the birthday boy but for some reason he was more interested in playing with the presents, the boxes, the wrapping paper...


I made him a Domo cake to match his stuffed animal...here is the preparation stage. Please don't try this at home. I'm a professional. (Or I just followed somebody else's blog tutorial and cut a rectangle off the end of a 9x13 cake to make the arms. But still...I had to, you know, use a knife.)


And the final product! I think he's adorable. I made the mouth, teeth & "David" out of colored melting chocolate.


The obligatory stuffing of the face...




Those eyse...there are no words.


All done!


Cleaned up and ready for bed. My baby is one. I can't even...there's no...how did this...I just can't believe it.


Brothers. This picture makes my heart melt a little.


Oh, just look at my little brood. When they play together it makes me happier than anything on earth.


I was going to continue with John's birthday but Blogger + my internet = RIDICULOUSLY slow. It takes over 10 minutes to download 5 pics at a time. So I've reached my limit for the night. To be continued...