OK, no Chinese wedding yet (i'm sorry tracy! they just won't load!!) but our contractor just gets funnier and funnier so we have to share. He actually sent work-men to our house to fix the air conditioner in our room today (yay!!!), of course that was after the landlord had finally phoned him and I'd called him twice within a few hours. The funny part is that each time, after I asked about the air-con workers I tried to ask if he'd talked to the plumber and both times he just said dismissively, "OK, OK..." and hung up. Seriously, hung up. Wait, it gets better.
For over 6 weeks we've been trying to get him to come fix plumbing issues. Some clogged drains, some loose faucets, a non-flushing toilet...and these are all things for a specialist so of course he can't come do it himself. He needs the plumber. Well, first he told us that the man he uses as a plumber had to go back to Indonesia for visa reasons (translation: illegal immigrant). Oh, you say it should only be a few days, maybe a week? OK, no worries, it's not really my problem, just get someone else. No, no, apparently that is not possible. Apparently it is only feasible to work with one plumber and not make any attempts to contact another one, regardless of how long someone is having to open their toilet tank and lift the flushing mechanism by hand so that they can use the toilet!
OK, so it's a little inconvenient, but it's not like we're using an outhouse. We can manage...so we wait. After a week or two we try again. No, there's been some problems, he's still in Indonesia. OK, so now I'm ticked and I insist that you find someone else to come fix it. TOMORROW. "OK, OK..." he says dismissively, and hangs up. Three days come and go, no contact. We have our Chinese friend call him, hoping that if she can communicate to him in his native language the message will get through. "OK, OK, I come look tomorrow." Fine. Thank you. Tomorrow comes & goes with no word. So we wait.
Now, it's getting to be Christmas holidays. We wait a few more weeks and decide to try again. "Sorry, sorry, no plumber, he is sick." Ummm, OK, so he's back from Indonesia but he's sick. Can you please call someone else? "I only have one plumber. He is sick. He has smallpox." I'm sorry, my ears must be ringing, can you say that again? It sounded like you said he has smallpox? "Yes, yes, he has smallpox." Well, I'm certainly thrilled that you only work with this ONE plumber and will wait until he GETS OVER SMALLPOX SO THAT HE CAN COME INTO OUR HOUSE and fix our toilet. Yes, thank you. On second thought, I don't really mind flushing my toilet this way, it's sort of quaint. We won't be bothering you again.